The Fierce Business Babe Podcast Ep 127: Facing Rejection In Business
Today we will be talking about rejection. We all face some form of rejection in both our life and our business, but there are ways to overcome and reframe those rejections to serve you and that is exactly what I will be diving into today along with so much more!
Facing Rejection in Business
By: Melissa Lin
Today, I am going to dive into a topic that definitely gets to be talked about more in the online space. We are going to talk about rejection. Rejection happens to everybody both inside your business and outside of your business. It is a topic that I wish I could have heard more about when I was in the earlier stages of my business, really in all stages of my business. I wish this was something that I knew was a little more normal that happened to everybody instead of me feeling like it was only happening to me, especially in those beginning stages.
Now, with having an online business, we can face rejection in many, many ways and it can be rejection from our friends, rejection from family, from potential clients, from others even within our industry. So I want to share some of my insight, some things that I’ve learned over the years, and how I shift whenever I start to feel this way. This has been a topic that I've really been wanting to dive into and I'm looking forward to talking about it. So rejection in all areas inside of your business, outside of your business, the feelings of rejection, what it means for you, and what even means for others that I have learned in my experiences. I have a few stories and I want to share with you my experiences with rejection and more.
First, let's just talk about the definition of the word. It's a big word that can be a big scary to many of us and so I took this from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, so it is a grounded, actual definition for everybody. So the definition is “one rejected, has not wanted, unsatisfactory or not fulfilling requirements. So many of us fear rejection. For example, anyone starting their business that they have wanted to for so long, if we fear rejection, they instead play it safe and stay in their comfort zone so that they can avoid the risk that maybe at some point they will be or feel rejected. Does that hit home with you? Did you feel that when you were just starting your business? I know I did. I know I definitely held back from not leaving my job a little sooner. I probably could have, no, I definitely could have. I definitely held back from really going all in my business and giving it my all. I held back from starting my business in the initial stages because of some of these fears I had back in the day. Fear happens to everybody, this rejection also happens to everybody.
You Are Not Alone
So one thing I do want to mention is you're not alone. If you're afraid of rejection, you are not alone. Rejection is all about perspective. It's about how you let it affect you and how you respond to it and how you process it. We get to learn how to overcome some of our fears around rejection so that we can actually go and take action. There are so many who don't take action because of this, so when we can start to overcome that fear of rejection we can do more of actually getting closer to what we want. For us to get closer to that, we get to ask for it, but most of us don’t get that far because of that rejection piece.
Overcoming Fear of Rejection From Friends and Family
So how about we go through some examples now. Let’s start with one of the most common for entrepreneurs: the fear of rejection from friends and family, lack of their support, maybe fear of their judgment towards your actions. One thing I do want to say is your family and friends want to keep you safe and it could be that their belief is you staying safely in your 9-5 is their definition of safety. Your friends and family could also be projecting onto you their fear or their happiness of their current situation. But what can we do about it? What we can do is we can reframe our stories around us into stories that actually serve you. So you can start to use it for yourself, you know. “My family and friends love and support me.” “My family and friends want me to be happy.” “My family and friends want me to find passion in my life.” Right when I left my chemical engineering job to go full time, I was afraid to tell my family. I was afraid they wouldn’t understand and they wouldn’t agree or support me. I was afraid of that rejection right there. It is again that were projection holding us back. So these were literally all stories that I had created that just weren’t serving me. These stories were keeping me in a place of fear. What happened once I shared with them the life and business I wanted to make and was making, they were so supportive, so supportive. So I had created all of those stories and all of that fear and they support me so much now.
Another story, where this wasn’t exactly the case. So I also had a close friend that expressed the complete opposite. This friend didn't agree and did not support me and also shared with me that they felt I should not venture into my business. So it truly was up to me on how I responded to this rejection. Right? I very easily could have just let this rejection stop me from pursuing my dreams. I could have been like, okay that person is right. My friend is right. They’re looking out for me, always. I should not do this. I really very easily could have done that, but I knew that this was a projection from them, right? This wasn’t actually about me and guess what happened about six or eight months later... This friend reached out and apologized. They actually wished that they could be out of their 9-5, pursuing something like I was. So one thing I do want to share is that not everybody will agree, not everyone is going to support you and that’s okay. It’s all about how you respond to that rejection, the stories you can read about that rejection, and so on. Again, you're not alone. You are not alone. If you’ve ever felt this, so many others are feeling this in this exact moment, so you’re not alone.
Overcoming Rejection Inside Your Business
So now that we talked about that, let’s talk about some rejection that we face inside the business. So lets say a potential client says no when you are on your sales call, maybe even cancels the sales call, or is ghosting you on social media and in the DMs. Potentially, some of your current clients are signing up for other programs or clients are not paying you. These are all forms of rejection that we may face from time to time in our business. Projection happens, rejection happens. You’re running a business, it will happen and it's all about how we respond. How we process the stories we create and how we shift. So let's go into a few examples for how we can start to shift to reframe some of these items.
So sales calls that don't enroll into your programs. Instead of stressing about the rejection and thinking, “Well, that’s another no. That’s a person who doesn’t want to work with me. I’m hearing no after no after no.” Let’s reframe that. “Well, they were not a good fit and the universe is opening more space now for my dream client to come to me and my next “yes” to make their way to me. It just wasn’t meant to be and that’s okay.” It's all about how we respond to and how we perceive that rejection.
It Says Nothing About You
Another thing that happens in our business, in the online space, is being ghosted on social media. This happens and it's something that happens to everybody. Some have come to me and said sometimes this truly is an accident. Somebody could have opened your message while on a run and unintentionally forgot to respond, this happens. Sometimes it is intentional. So if it is, let’s reframe this too. Instead of us, you know, doubting ourselves and being hard on yourself for being ghosted, let’s reframe this to, “This says nothing about me or my business. Being ghosted says nothing about me or my business or my worthiness. Being ghosted is all about them. This has everything to do with them not wanting to have an uncomfortable conversation with me. Them avoiding discomfort even by being aware of their behavior.” So that is the way that you can reframe that. It says nothing about you when they're ghosting in you. So keep that in mind. Something else that I like to keep in mind as well; if someone is creating that behavior, is that really a dream client of yours, right? Is that someone that you want in one of your programs; your one-on-one coaching or your group coaching program? They just may not be ready for you at this moment. So again, that says nothing about you and is all about their behavior and their mindset.
Another thing that can happen is clients going to work with someone else after working with you instead of re-signing with you. Many feel this as rejection, but if you believe that there are an abundance of clients, then we can reframe this for you. So with an abundance of clients available, which there are, we get to celebrate those that find their mentor. We get to celebrate that we're so excited because they're going to learn different things than they learn from you. It's amazing. Even if it's not you, at this moment, we still get to celebrate. Wanting more for others puts us, you, me, all of us, into an energy of abundance. So this will expand your ability to receive more. Which will actually attract more of what you want within, assuming it’s more clients and bigger impact. So something to keep in mind.
So the next example, again this happens. This happens in business. You’re not alone. Clients not paying you. In a sense, that can feel like rejection. So, how can we reframe this? Your client, when they dont pay you, they’re out of integrity with their contract with your business. Not you personally. It's not a personal attack. Maybe they’re having money problems and their ghosting on their commitment to you. They're out of Integrity with the contract with your business, that is what it's about. It's all about them, things that they are going through, their projections say nothing about you, your business, your worthiness.
Not Letting Your Business Drive How You Feel
Something I do want to mention is, and I've been talking about this with all of my clients in my mastermind and my private clients, my academy gals, when we feel good we know everything is okay. If we don’t let our emotions shift because of rejection. So here's an example of what I mean by letting our emotions shift because of rejection. If sales are the driver of our happiness or maybe our monthly income is a driver of our happiness, then we’re letting that drive us. So if we let our business drive how we feel, then what we get to do is we get to detach from the outcome. We cannot let that be the driver. We get to detach from that outcome, because what’s going to happen is, if you have a bad sales day, you're going to be in a bad mood and you're not going to feel good and you're not going to be attracting those high vibe, fun things that you want to be attracting.
Shifting Your Mindset
So here are some ways that we can start to shift and reframe some stories and look at things different, some new perspectives. So let's shift your mindset from expecting the worst, which many of us have done at some point. We've all done that and let's start visualizing success. Another example for you. Let's say we get on a sales call, this is something most of us can relate to, if you're on a sales call with a potential client that's interested in working with you and you start the call just expecting the worst. You're sitting there crossing your fingers, unsure if they will want to work with you and you just feel like it's a toss of a coin at this point, like you're not even sure if they're going to sign up with you. When it gets time to share your offer and invite them into your program to work with you, what's going to happen is you end up asking in a way that shows you're unsure of yourself and are lacking confidence and lacking excitement and that fear shows through. So they can literally feel the energy on the other side of the phone or other side of the computer, if you're on a zoom call, they can feel that. So what we can do instead, and this is what I always recommend my clients to do before they hop on a sales call, is make sure you're feeling good. Do something that brings you up in energy; dancing, listening to some music, going on a walk outside.
What I want you to do is start to visualize them saying yes. Yes, you're my dream coach. Yes, you’re exactly who I've been looking for. This is how you want to be going into the call, knowing and feeling that they're going to be “Heck YES!” That yes You've been wanting to hear. “Yes, I want to work with you. You're my dream coach.” This will shift everything for you. This is what we get to do: start to visualize that success and know that you're worthy of it. Let's also stop replaying rejections in our heads. We get to find some external things that help you feel or help you move into more confidence, more relaxed, more high vibe state because you’re feeling good. You feeling good will bring good things. If we replay rejection, we won't feel good. We’re going to constantly be giving off that energy. As a leader, We are constantly educating ourselves and wanting to improve in all areas. So anytime you're feeling a rejection or a rejection comes your way, ask yourself, “What can you learn from the rejection? If somebody does say no to working with you. What can you learn there?” Maybe it wasn't meant to be, the universe has another plan for you, another dream client is coming your way, amazing. Not always the case though, right? Is there something that we could potentially shift in our messaging? could we have done something differently with our approach?” It's not that anything went wrong. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be, but we do get to reflect and see what we can learn and what we could potentially adjust in the future.
Mindset Mantras
So here are a few mantras I personally like to remind myself of each day to keep me in a high vibe state, feeling good. These also help me when I'm facing any kind of rejection. The first one is “I'm always doing the right thing at the right time and I do truly believe that the universe has its plans for me. I cannot screw up where I meant to go.” If that client says no, they aren’t meant to work with us. That's okay, at least not now in this moment. Then the last one that I'm going to share today is, “I know what's for me will not pass me.” Like I literally have these mantras written out and I go through them in my journal. Some days I'll have them on a Post-It note. I write them out so they can actually see them with my eyes. So create some mantras for you to help you and really get you into the right headspace so that you can start the day feeling good.
I would love to hear some of your stories. What are some of the stories you're telling yourself that potentially aren't serving you? How can we re-frame them and shift them to stories that serve you? What are some of your mantras that help you when these types of things come up? Go ahead. Send me a message over Instagram @TheMelissaLin. I would love to hear what those are and some of your big takeaways from today. Again, rejection happens. It's all about how we look at it, how we respond, how we perceive and what we really take away from it will be learned from it as well.
Thank you for hanging out with me today. I’m always going to be your biggest cheerleader. So you taking time out of your day to hang with me truly means the world to me. I'll see you next time!
Topics we cover include:
You Are Not Alone
Rejection From Your Family and Friends
Rejection In Your Business
Rejection Online
Shifting Your Mindset
And so much more!
Times to check out:
(7:35) You Are Not Alone
(8:23) Fear Of Rejection From Family and Friends
(12:00) Fear Of Rejection In Your Business
(18:16) Shifting Your Mindset
(21:57) Mindset Mantras
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